Last night, I had one of the deepest talks with my best friend, which was about our future. Not career wise, but about relationships and possible marriage. We haven't had conversations like this before, and like what we would say "well that escalated quickly". In a more positive way.

I used to be super boy crazy. Well not SUPER, but always thinking what it would be like to be in a relationship (since I have never had one yet). But as of last year, I have not really thought about it. Then last night's conversation got me to think about it again.

We were thinking about what we would look for in a guy, what qualities would we want them to have? I remember telling her qualities, and she told me to think about it again. Shut down so many times, but it was right for her to help me with that. It helped me think about what I really want, instead of the typical things people look for in guys. And it also helped me confirm things that I had put in my mind before.
1) I would be alright with God not giving me a spouse.
2) To find someone who likes me more than I like them.
3) I currently do not feel the rush to pursue a relationship
4) I would only pursue the relationship if the guy actively pursues me.
For me to confirm these things is taking a big step for me. I will look at relationships even more seriously, and take more into consideration, as I also told my best friend that I would love for my first to be my last. I blame that thought for watching, but it is a nice thought.

Then today, I was surfing the web, and I came across certain things which is really what I now truly believe. When I am looking for a relationship, I will now consider more of these things.

He must be a leader.
God intended for men to lead, which doesn't mean women are powerless. But it is God's intention for men to take charge.
He must be able to make wise choices, understands what the Bible teaches about biblical marriage, and is committed to doing his best to lead like Christ.
1. He is committed to his own spiritual growth and doesn't depend on others to spur him on spiritually.
2. He regularly reads the Word and seeks to live out what it says.
3. He challenges others to have vibrant faith through loving encouragement.
4. He seeks out wise council when her doesn't know what to do rather than shying away from making hard decisions.
5. He makes wise choices.

which will lead to...
He must pray
prayer is how we connect with God. God's Word promises that our prayers have the power to effect change. So seeking the spouse that prays, decides on who will weather the storms of life with you. That they will pray in times of need, instead of depending on himself. A man who understands his role as a leader of his household should also be committed to leading his family in prayer.
1. Have you seen him pray with others?
2. Have you heard him talk about what God is teaching him through prayer?
3. Does he ask others to pray for him?
4. Does he encourage others to pray?
5. Does he have regular quiet time with God?

These points give me direction when I am praying, and 'choosing'. Of course, ultimately, it is up to God to direct my future. But then people might think "Why is there so much that I demand of the man? What about the woman?"
I can't just pray for this man to appear in my life, I must prepare too.
Proverbs 31:10-31 talks about The Wife of Noble Character, and these is one verse, verse 12, that stood out more. She brings him good not harm, all the days of her life.
The devotions I read regarding that, said that 'all the days of her life' will definitely be talking about after marriage, even while dating. But she brought up a point: What about loving your man before you ever meet him?
It was real mind blowing. I must love him before I meet him, before we start this relationship. So that I will bring good to him. And THIS will change how I view relationships. I can't just blindly want a relationship. I have to prepare myself, for the better of my future spouse.
1. How would it change the dating choices you made if your goal is to bring your future husband good, not harm?
2. Would it impact the decisions you make about your future career if you kept blessing your husband in mind?
3. What books could you read now to prepare you to do your husband good in the future?

Relationships are not just about loving the other person, and including God in the relationship. But to prepare yourself FOR the relationship, so that it may be beneficial to both parties, to be in the relationship. So that you can edify your other half.